thoughtcrime
by Taywen
Summary: Because you forgot that in a city that prides itself on superficiality, the only absolute law is this: the Hunger Games are sacred. *Written for Starvation Forum's April prompt: Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.*


Disclaimer: Hunger Games does not in any way belong to me, it's the property of Suzanne Collins, etc.

Written for Starvation Forum's April prompt, '**Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real**'.

Title from George Orwell's _1984_. Coincidentally, I don't own that either.

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><p><strong> you're a citizen of the Capitol<strong> –

Shallow, superficial, self-absorbed and naive.

You wait for the annual Hunger Games with bated breath. Other fads may come and go, the latest soap opera, reality show, drama, whatever – they're only worthy of a brief, passing interest. The Hunger Games are eternal, and you never want them to stop. Watching those District children fight and die is fascinating and entertaining (it's a bit like watching one of those nature programs, about some exotic animal in its natural habitat, preying and living and dying, actually) and you wish the Games would happen a little bit more often.

– _but the truth is that the Hunger Games have always made you uneasy; watching the muscular, ruthless Careers brutally murder the 'bloodbath tributes' is almost physically painful. you used to turn away from the widescreen, state-of-the-art television (only the best for people like you) and usually no one would notice because they were too focussed on the slaughter, but then your father did and he told you that 'it was improper, to look away from the massacre' and that you 'needed to man up'. he told you (in tones that conveyed how little choice you would have in the matter) that 'you would make a great Gamemaker, one day' _

**you're a Gamemaker of the Capitol** –

Cruel, sadistic, cunning and immoral.

You work almost all year on the upcoming annual Hunger Games. Other fads may come and go, but the only thing of interest to you is the success of the next Games (because if it's not a success, you know what the consequences will be, just look at last year's Games, that one District Six boy started eating his competition and suddenly an almost record amount of Gamemakers – including you – were hired; the only time more Gamemakers were hired at one time was for the 51st Games). Still, despite the pressures of your job, you don't really think of it as such an onerous task; it's a privilege, really, and you enjoy the challenges you're faced with, somehow managing to outdo yourself again and again.

– _but the truth is that the Hunger Games continue to make you uneasy; watching good, innocent children get killed for sport, playing a hopeless Game of your own devising, for the entertainment of the unenlightened, privileged masses, has you up at three in the morning, retching into your exquisite porcelain sink (only the best for people like you). 'you'll make a great Gamemaker,' your father said to you; 'the fate of the Games is in your hands,' President Snow said to you and your coworkers; you just said yes but you were always thinking no, no no nonono_

**you're the Head Gamemaker of the Capitol** –

Ingenious, omnipotent, quick-thinking and ruthless.

You're the best, naturally, otherwise you wouldn't have been promoted. The 70th Hunger Games will definitely be the best that Panem has ever seen. Never mind that the Careers this year are decidedly flat, uninteresting, and generally uncooperative. There's the typical bloodthirsty male from Two, yes, but the beautiful pair from District One are too concerned about their looks and not focussed enough on killing. The girl from Two is weak, for a Career. And the pair from Four? Neither volunteered; both were reaped, and while the girl's breakdown is mildly entertaining it's not enough. The 'Alliance' is disappointingly impotent, incompetent, whatever. It's useless, and that's all that matters; after two weeks, there's still six tributes remaining.

– _but the truth is that the Hunger Games were too hopeless; you'd seen too many innocent girls like Annie Cresta, destroyed for no other reason than that they were too pure to kill. you couldn't bear to watch another child like that die – well, you could, because there were still two other tributes like her left, but at least this way the monstrous Careers didn't win. you don't know how he knows (maybe he always knew, maybe he was just angry because that boy from One would have made a beautiful prostitute and blue, bloated corpses are worthless) but President Snow has Peacekeepers kidnap you a week after Annie Cresta returns to District Four and you just say, yes, it was me, I did it, I planned it all, when they accuse you of rebellion and counter-revolution_

**you're a prisoner of the Capitol **–

Enlightened, insightful, self-aware and scrupulous.

You sit in your cell, wondering when the annual Hunger Games will be broadcast. The Games are the only thing that shows on the screen within your room, and you're grateful because everyone loves the Hunger Games, and maybe you'll be let out soon, because if they trust you enough to let you watch senseless, entertaining murder then you must be close to release. Sometimes the people who get imprisoned are actually innocent, albeit a bit too enthusiastic (bloodthirsty, obsessed) about the Games who need to tone it down a little, but really are good, respectable citizens of the Capitol. You just happen to fall into that latter category, of course. Rebellion? Subversion? Who would want to rebel, especially in the Capitol. Life here is wonderful. That flood? Those weak tributes deserved it. They should have been more entertaining. The only interesting thing that happened was Annie Cresta's breakdown after her partner was beheaded. They deserved it.

– _but the truth is that the Hunger Games are what drove you to this; more than anything else, the task of punishing innocent children for the crimes of their grandparents, their great-grandparents, was too much. you were tired of those murderous, monstrous Careers (victims of the Capitol, twisted to suit its own ends). you say this to your interrogator, and he just stares at you, then walks out. doctors in pure white coats with silver implements that gleam in the light (only the best for people like you) replace him. 'there's no hope for you,' they say and you say, I know  
><em>

**you're an Avox of the Capitol **–

Silent, methodical, subservient and humble.

You wake up screaming some nights (always the nights of the Hunger Games, but somehow you never make that connection, do you?) half-remembered figments assaulting your mind (disgust and defiance and torture and murdered children) but you can only be grateful that the Capitol cut out your tongue, leaving your throat aching but silent. After all, it's unnatural, the strange impulses that sometimes still afflict you – though mercifully these have abated after your treatment (imprisonment) and tongue-cutting – and you don't want people to _know_ about your abnormality, because while it may be in fashion to appear outwardly strange and fashionable and different, there is only one acceptable mentality within the Capitol. Avoxes get their tongues cut out because they can't understand that, because they feel the need to voice another, _wrong_ opinion. But you, and some of your comrades, are better now. You've made some mistakes in life, but you can still be a part of society. You can still cheer (wordlessly) when the victor of the Hunger Games is crowned.

– _but the truth is that the Hunger Games can never be won; there may be the odd victor who isn't a complete wreck, but those exceptions had already lost (their humanity, their empathy, their life) before entering the Games. you can't win, either. you should have known this, but it turns out you were just as naive as any other Capitol citizen to think for one instant that you would get away with your crime. and make no mistake, opposing the Capitol, even in thought, is a crime and crimes will always be punished, eternally, without mercy_

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><p>AN: Is the block-of-text-ness too much? I kind of like it myself, but I know that blocks of text can be hard to read and annoying, so if that's a problem please tell me and I'll fix it ~

Mm, I like this piece. Hopefully you did too? Feel free to tell me if that's the case (or even it's not, I'm interested in what you have to say) ;)


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